Some Rules for Righters
-
A sentence must a verb.
-
Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
-
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
-
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
-
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
-
Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).
-
Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
-
Be more or less specific.
-
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
-
Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
-
No sentence fragments.
-
Contractions aren't necessary 'n' shouldn't be used.
-
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
-
Do not be redundant; do not use more words than are mostly necessary; it's
highly superfluous.
-
One should NEVER generalise.
-
Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
-
Don't use no double negatives.
-
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
-
One-word sentences ? Eliminate.
-
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
-
The passive voice is to be ignored.
-
Eliminate, commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however
should be enclosed in commas.
-
Never utilise a big word when substituting a diminutive one would be sufficient.
-
Kill all exclamation points!!!
-
Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
-
Understatement is always the absolutely best way to put forth earth-shaking
ideas.
-
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
-
Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
-
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations".
-
If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole;
not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
-
Go around the barn at a high noon to avoid colloquialisms. Hey, man, don't
be chatty.
-
Who needs rhetorical questions ?
-
Avoid "buzz-words", such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic
situations.
-
Use spell-checkers allot.
-
Puns are for children, not groan readers and righters.
-
An finally Proofread carefully to see if you any words out, ans theb ude
tje spl checkr agin.